So what exactly is wrong?

I can just hear people know sighing 'So she's gone mad again', or maybe that's the paranoia talking. Either way, this isn't for you. I am having a selfish moment for myself. I need to get this out, as I have found (the hard way) that bottling things up does not work.

I don't quite know where to begin actually, so I will just start typing and see what I come out with. I apologise in advance for the ramblings and the disjointedness of it all. I will use fake names to protect those involved in the insanity, although those close to me will be able to spot them a mile away. Please don't give away true identifies if you do comment, as much as some people deserve to be named and shamed - this isn't my way of doing it.

On a side note, don't you hate the way iPods have the ability to play the worst song at the worst time. Normally for me its a depressing song right when I feel bad, right now I'm listening to Evanescene's My Immortal. The lyrics sum up things perfectly, but also the band makes my heart cry... but that is another story

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real,

There's just too much that time cannot erase...

You used to captivate me by your resonating life

Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind. Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away... All the sanity in me